I often make it a point to embarrass people I'm with. Most people who would hang around me obviously don't get embarrassed easily (I mean, it is me, afterall), so I have to try a little harder. Shellie, on the other hand, is VERY easily red-faced. She doesn't like any unnecessary attention drawn to her. So, of course, I try to make sure people are staring.
I got this need for glaring what-the-hell-is-she-doing attention from my father and brothers - they would do anything to make me blush. My brothers' thing is farting very loudly in public and then yelling my name while looking at me in disgust. They've done it to me everywhere, from restaurants to airport elevators. Don't get me wrong, my brothers aren't 12. They are 38 and 40. Old enough to know better - though not too old to get punched in the stomach when they pull it. And yes, they still pull it. My oldest brother did it at the mall in Dallas last summer. He got punched.
My father, while he does try to get me on occasion, is an embarassment without even trying. For instance, he LOVES garage sales and flea markets. In other words, he likes junk. (Remember the dinosaur shit?) Well, in his never-ending quest for junk, he would sometimes randomly pull up to a house, make me walk to the door with him, and he would ask them, "I like your house...can I come in and see your stuff?"
Seriously? Yeah, random people. Someone let him in one time. Another time, he got chased off with a shotgun. The majority of his answers were "sorry, guy" with a side of slammed and quickly-locked door. He still does it and sees nothing strange about it at all.
Another thing he does is sort of a CSI for roadkill. If he's driving along and sees a dead animal that is unidentifyable from the car, he will pull over, get out of the car, and go poke around on it with a stick until he can tell what it may have been. While this was quite interesting for me when I was 10, I have long since outgrown it and become disgusted by it. He hasn't. My poor step mother.
Sure, I inherited the 'have to embarrass everyone' gene, but I'm thinking (a.k.a. hoping/praying/wishing/pleading) that the total ass crazy gene skipped me. I mean, come on. At least mine don't get me gunned down or playing with guts. I think Shellie is lucky to have that quality in a partner. Right, babydoll?
