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At Least I LIKE The South
Because, apparently, that's where my ass is heading.
We're doing a little remodeling in our bathroom right now, so the mirror is off the wall and just kinda sitting on the back of the sink. That means it's lower than usual - low enough that I have to lean down to see my face. Unfortunately, this also means when I step out of the shower, I see the area directly between my naked chest and my naked thighs.
I did the whole look-over-my-shoulder-at-my-butt thing. It's not quite where I remember it being. Then I did the turn-to-the-side-and-pat-my-belly thing. There's a tad more there than I remember having before. I'm starting to look like a damn kewpie doll. The view made me want to find Isaac Newton and kick him square in the nuts.
I stared at the mirror for several minutes, turning around and around, trying to convince myself the angle of the mirror was out of whack or the steam from the shower distorted the reflection. Whatever makes ya sleep at night, right?
I decided right then and there that I needed to start doing squats and doing my workout tapes again. I decided I would eat a little better and maybe start jogging again. I decided I might even start doing weight watchers more strictly again.
Then I decided to say fuck that, I'll just move the mirror.
About an hour later, I decided to go have some sushi and a big plate of creme brulée. Thankyouverymuch.
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Good plan! Just move that mirror!
Posted by
Celena at March 20, 2006 09:30 PM
I know the feeling. Trust me.
Yeah....I had noticed that. Ew ;) Lay off the tacos for a while, tubbs.
Posted by Pappy at March 21, 2006 06:34 AM
Well, the sushi wasn't so bad. Creme brulee, though...
Yummy. But when is good tasting stuff ever good for us? Damnable, isn't it?
Posted by
Kevin at March 21, 2006 08:28 AM
Laughed out loud at this one. Especially the sushi washed down with creme brulee image...fucking priceless.
I, too, have recently begun (okay, who am I kidding - began AGAIN) what I have touchingly dubbed as my "annual ass war". It's a yearly event that one day I just may win and it usually is comprised of one or more of the following ass-lifting strategies:
crash diets (Slim Fast this time...yummy.)
over the top gym excursions (try two hours/day)
drowning myself in a sea of bottled water.
Of course, THIS time I have adopted all three strategies and I have to hope that it may actually work.
Ya never know, though... creme brulee...oooooohhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Anyway, found you through Stella and had to say hello. Enjoyed your page, and I'll stop hogging all your comment space now. Cheers!
Posted by
Hill at March 21, 2006 09:22 AM
Just thought I'd add...I think you've completely missed the point.
"Becoming One w/ Buddha" and "Becoming the Spittin'-image of Buddha" are quite different, the latter being so easy that even I could do it.
Posted by Pappy at March 21, 2006 09:43 AM
My wife and I have what I like to call the "alternating diet method." One of us is trying to lose weight and exercise while the other is lazy and eats whatever. We switch at regular intervals, which makes it easy for us to blame the lack of weight loss on the other one's actions.
But even when we're not trying to carve all this sendentary office weight off, sushi is the way to go.
Posted by
Dr. Pants at March 21, 2006 10:28 AM
Sushi sounds good for lunch. Thanks!
How does one get a large "plate" of creme brulée?
Wouldn't the next logical step up be a "bucket-o-brulée"?
Posted by
Chanakin at March 21, 2006 10:34 AM
Amen!
oh god. first hill...now you.
there must be something in the water.
quit showering people for the love!!!!
Posted by
stella at March 21, 2006 02:06 PM
Maybe what we all really should do is stop looking at the backs of ourselves. See, my philosophy is(well, at least until I can get back on WW and exercise)if I can't see it, it's not there. I think denial is healthy and I practice it daily.
Posted by
Deb_LA at March 21, 2006 02:38 PM
moving the mirror is a great idea. and remember, you could probably do a squat or two WHILE moving the mirror! :)
Posted by
rebecca at March 21, 2006 02:45 PM
Been there, done that. Still counting points on WW. Of course the gumbo, corn bread, and bread pudding I made this weekend didn't help. I basically lost track of my points around 100. ;)
Celena - It worked just fine...and the view looks much better now. ;)
Housewife - Don't worry about it, though. Do like I do and close your eyes and eat something really sweet.
Pappy - Please take your hidden cameras out of my house. Thank you. And the Buddha thing? You're prolly right - all those statues must be rubbing off.
Kevin - It's ok though! Everytime I took a bite of the creme brulée, I said "thank god this is fat free". That works.....right??
Hill - You're stronger than I am! I can't get past a week with any diet lately. Right now I'm eating fries from Wendy's. Don't tell.
Dr.Pants - that works too! Can I blame any weight gain I experience on you, too? Thankyou.
Chanakin - Ok, so it was a little dish thingy...not quite a plate. But if I would have seen "bucket-o-brulée" on the menu, I would have ordered that instead.
Stella - I tried that once. People complained.
Deb - I'm ALL about that idea. We can denial together...you tell me my ass looks fit and trim and I'll do the same for you. Deal? Deal.
Rebecca - That's a great idea! And then I can do lunges on the way to the ice cream shop and use my biceps when I lift my double-dip cone. Thanks for the tip! :)
Chili - It's always great to see you back here! I haven't counted a single ww point since the middle of November (the day I landed in Vegas, actually). I was only allowed 20 points a day - that ended with the first bite of breakfast there. Whew.
Posted by
Chase at March 21, 2006 04:05 PM
I'm here via Steph's blog. Your blog is hilarious, but 1 word of advice: I'd NEVER allow a mirror like that to see me naked. NO! ;)
Posted by
jane at March 21, 2006 05:46 PM
Just wait til you have a kid...(eek, sorry.)
Posted by
Mom101 at March 21, 2006 06:52 PM
I am trying to imagine the restaurant that serves BOTH sushi and creme' brulee'. Or were these homemade treats?
Posted by
Belinda at March 22, 2006 12:31 AM
