Last night I went to a concert. I've never felt more old or dorky in my life.

Now, I used to be a wild concert girl. I quit my job and went on tour across the country with a band once, even (but that's another series of blogs altogether), so I'm no stranger to the scene. But last night was just...different. I've become that lady.

It was my favorite band, Blue October.  The radio station and their label did a free all-ages show, and though I can't stand that crowd, they rarely play near me, so I go any chance I can. Since it was all-ages, since we're on spring break right now and since they've been playing their new single on the radio lately, I knew the crowd would be massive. So a friend and I got there 2 hours before doors opened and stood, with an assload of 12-year-olds in the 40-degree weather (remember how I said we got 3 inches of snow yesterday? Yeah). Friend and I laughed the whole time because we, both in our early 30s, were probably the only ones old enough to be out past curfew. The kids were loud and annoying and it was all we could do not to flee the scene.  A girl behind us called us "ladies." Lady. Yeah, if you only knew, youngster.

Once our nuts were officially frozen off, we got inside and headed straight for the bar. I guess I don't have to mention there was hardly anyone in there, what, with the only legal-aged people in the place being creepy roadies or pissed off security guys. 

I reveled at how I used to be those kids - and wimpered to myself at the same thought. Was I really that damn obnoxious?! Did I actually wear clothes that looked like that?  Hell yeah I did - but I sure felt cooler than they looked. At one point between the opener and the headliner, the dj got up and said "Jesse Hill, please go to the front. Your parents are here for you."  WOOOOOOOOBOY! Somebody got grounded!  We experienced great joy at poor Jesse's expense.

As I was standing in the bathroom line, I watched as a drunk girl showed her boobs to a couple of guys and then demonstrated her deep-throating abilities with two beer bottles at once. Wow. Impressive. I later saw that same girl dirty dancing with three other guys all at once. Then I saw that she brought her son.  Mmmhmmm.  Mommy Of The Universe right there in front of me.

I enjoyed the band of course, minus the people throwing bottles and random clothes, and the people crowd-surfing and attempting to start a mosh pit. I came home before the encore smelling like smoke and tired from the jumping around (I do still jump...I'm not that old). I also came home with a notepad full of observations from the night. Yes, I took notes at a rock concert.

So yeah, I like my music. I even like good music. I'm hip, I'm hot, I'm rockin.  But I'm also, apparently, a big fat nerd.

Rock out with your cock notebook out.