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Crazy Is The New Pink

First, I wanted to thank everyone who has commented/emailed/called.  I didn't want to respond in comments, because there are only so many ways I can say THANK YOU.  And I can't say it enough - it means the world that so many people care that my brain is melting.  *mwah* I love you all.

And, for everyone who was surprised that I called for help so soon : this has been an ongoing thing for me.  I've known I needed help for a long time, but always pretended it wasn't there until I felt better.  I finally asked for help because, how I felt on Thursday?  It scared the living shit out of me. I knew I had to.

With that said... 

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When I was 14, I went on a family vacation to Florida, where I had to share a hotel room with my parents.  The first morning, my step mother asked me what I'd been laughing at the night before - I had no idea what she was talking about.  Apparently, I'd woken her several times though the night laughing out loud.

That was the first of many, many times people have told me I've awoken them cracking myself up.  And I often wake myself doing the same thing, though rare is it that I remember what exactly it was that made me start.

Even while I'm asleep, I find something to laugh at myself about.  Why would it be any different when my brain is so obviously falling out of my head?

So I thought I'd share a few of the things that I've recently thought/done that make me realize...um, yeah...hi, I'm nutso.

Lord help me.

August 12, 2006 06:05 PM |
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Oh honey, crazy is TOTALLY the new pink. You are now officially in with us IT girls. We're all fucking nuts. And lookie you, you didn't even have to have the kiddos to do it! Kuddos! (although if I really try to analyze me before the kids, I'm guessing my posts would sound a lot like yours) First-the whole first step in the getting help process sucks balls. But as soon as you are there, it's soooooooooo much better. Second-(and these are in no order) OK? to TEXAS? Honey, we gotta get you out here to CA. But, one state at a time...eventually you'll his us here on the ocean. And a crazy bonkers friend (sort of) of mine just moved to Frisco. Swear to God. She's nuttier than you and I don't think she drinks and her kids are brats. So nevermind, I won't give you her name or number. Or maybe just for emergency mojito sharing purposes. Then you can come home and write me and we'll make fun of her together. Third-I love overboard. I'm not ashamed. So does Sarah. And after having seen it 300000000 times, we BOTH still cry at the end when she says "...a little girl." Go ahead. Make fun of us now.
Posted by QofS at August 12, 2006 08:39 PM

Yep, you're nuts. It's official. ;) I think we could probably swap "crazy" stories all day. I'm glad you can laugh about it, but I'm also glad you're doing something about your depression.
Posted by Karl at August 12, 2006 09:44 PM

Oh, sweetie! I know you're having a rough time, but I laughed at "I can totally FEEL a brain tumor in my head"! It's a little funny, right? Hang in there, and don't forget your blog friends are here if you need anything. I love "Overboard" too! Nothing to be ashamed of.
Posted by Elizabeth at August 12, 2006 10:02 PM

Damn, girl. What the hey did they give you at that BlogHer thing? ;)
Posted by Pappy at August 12, 2006 10:04 PM

First off...I'm sending you the hug I should have sent you like two days ago. Second, I'm glad you went to see someone and that you're going to address your depression. I've suffered with it off and on since my early twenties and when I feel that feeling...that awful hopeless feeling, I start to panic because it scares the holy hell out of me. I only mention that so you will know that I know what you're dealing with. That said, it's important to acknowledge when you don't feel right and good for you for doing it and I'd also like to hug the person who read your blog and gave you that number. Email me anytime if you want a virtual shoulder to lean on :) {{hugs}}
Posted by Izzy at August 12, 2006 11:45 PM

Ok, um, fell asleep on the concrete? Jesus. I've never done anything THAT crazy. Ok, so once I may have screamed at my ex-boyfriend on the phone and then fell asleep in mid fight but who hasn't done that? Am I right? By the way, you better get to that doctor quick, the brain tumor thing is a panic attack and you don't want those to start...trust.
Posted by Plunky at August 13, 2006 12:12 AM

You've got a tu-mah. Or not. Probably not. But I know what you mean about the irrational fears. *big hug*
Posted by Erin at August 13, 2006 12:23 AM

Listen to your crazy. Maybe your crazy is trying to tell you something. My favorite, oh god I am nuts moment: laying in bed, listening to the rain, worrying (as usual). I was so sick of worrying that I prayed to God to let me stop worrying, and I actually had a moment of pure blissful peace. Then my brain piped up with this: What if it never stops raining? Oh my god, how screwed we would be then! We wouldn't have food! Our houses would flood! It MAY NEVER STOP RAINING! Yep, yep, yep. You are in a big club. A big crazy club. But we're nice here.
Posted by Suebob at August 13, 2006 02:35 AM

QofS - Haha! Well, I'm glad to be one of The Girls now. I feel so loved! Loved by crazy people, but loved, regardless! And, one day I'll make it to California...just give me a few years. ;) Karl - I HAVE to laugh about it. Or I'll go nuts. Um...more nuts. (heh. more nuts.) Elizabeth - Heh. Yeah, it's funny now. But freaked me the hell out when it was happening! Let's just say I don't sit in a quiet room anymore. Pappy - Something I need MORE of, apparently. Izzy - Thank you! I'll give her an extra hug for you when I see her again. :) Plunky - Oh great...panic. One more thing to worry about. Thanks a lot. Whore. (Thanks, though, I'll make sure to mention that to my head doc) Erin - Haha! Well, let's hope not. HOPE NOT! lol Suebob - Thanks for welcoming me to the club! Do we have weekly meetings and stuff where we bring a casserole and our medication? I can't wait! And then flood thing? ROFL! That's great!
Posted by Chase at August 13, 2006 07:48 AM

I love that movie! I would have watched it right along with you. Hang in there, girl.
Posted by CityMama at August 13, 2006 11:19 AM

Chase, I'm glad you're getting help. Sending you a big hug - Roxanna
Posted by reluctant housewife at August 13, 2006 11:21 AM

I think we all have times like that in our lives, you aren't crazy...just needing to regroup a little.
Posted by Robin at August 13, 2006 02:42 PM

Don't worry-that is no where near as much crazy stuff as I have done! Overboard-that is a great movie!
Posted by Tracie at August 13, 2006 10:49 PM

You're nuts, but we love you.
Posted by Kevin at August 14, 2006 08:31 AM

One of the recipes in the family cookbook is for tater tot casserole. I think it would make a good crazy meeting dish. I also make a mean mac n cheese, with real gruyere cheese and bechamel sauce...no blue box for me. It is so rich I only eat it about once every 5 years, but it is gooooooood.
Posted by Suebob at August 14, 2006 09:52 AM

Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from cryin', right?
Posted by mamatulip at August 14, 2006 10:49 AM

Citymama - Hah! I see you've lost YOUR marbles, too. ;) Roxanna - Thank you. I'm NOT looking forward to it. But thanks anyway. Robin - I agree. I definitely need a regrouping. And perhaps another go at BlogHer. I miss everyone. :( Tracie - I need stories, now! Yay! Crazy! Kevin - Heh. You said nuts. Suebob - Ooooooh, can I have the mac recipe, pleeeeeeease? That sounds sooo bad...and sooooo good! Tulip - Oh, lordy, you're tellin' me!
Posted by Chase at August 14, 2006 01:28 PM