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Burning Ring-O-Fire
In my transition between Tulsa and Dallas, I've been staying at J's house. You all may remember J from such blog storylines as "I'm totally taking tango lessons!" and "My friend and I make cheesecakes! WOOT!"
J and I are exactly the same. Well, except that he's a conservative Republican. And an uber Christian. And, well, pretty much everything I'm not. But in the BEST way possible! And we actually get along rather well. I completely adore J. Plus, he's totally hot.
Ahem. Anyway.
Since I've been staying with him, I hang out with him, his friends, and his family nearly all the time. They are what you'd expect : conservative, Christian, amazing people. My group has always been the opposite...cussing, spitting, drinking, smoking, agnostic/atheist, Bush-hating, gay-loving lefties. So this has been an eye-opener to say the least.
I have noticed a few SLIGHT differences between the groups. Heh. So I offer to you now some situations and conversations I've been a part of this last month that show just how different of a crowd I've been enjoying lately.
(quotes from MY friends are hypothetical and assumed...quotes from HIS are totally real)
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While playing a really hard Xbox racing game:
My friends/family : "Are you fucking serious? What the hell is that asshole doing?!?!"
His friends/family : "Oooh, darn it all to heck! Oh no! Jesus take the wheel!"
When asked 'If you could choose how you were going to die, how would it be?"
My friends/family : "I'd want to be eaten by a shark, dude...that'd be freaking cool."
His friends/family : "As a martyr for the Lord!"
When talking about the President:
My friends/family : "What a fucktard."
His friends/family : "He's so cute with how he talks...that's why I love him...he's such a good 'ol boy!"
While imitating someone with tourettes:
My friends/family : "Mother fucker! Shit! Mother FUCKER!"
His friends/family : "Bob Saget!"
When asked "What you watching?"
My friends/family : "Ellen. And then Rosie. And then Richard Simmons."
His friends/family : "Pat Robertson. But you can change it if you want...I'll watch it again tonight."
When asked "What are you doing for New Years Eve?"
My friends/family : "Dunno...getting hammered...dancing with hotties...barfing."
His friends/family : "Getting drunk on the holy spirit!"
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Again. Totally real.
Ya know, Hell is going to be REALLY hot when I get there. But, boy will I have some great stories to tell. I hope you're all there to hear 'em.
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Comments
LOLOL...sounds like you've been hanging out with my family!
Posted by
Lee at January 3, 2007 10:22 PM
Good lord (no pun intended ... maybe).
They sound like lovely people indeed. You know, in a church revival kinda way. Not that that's a bad thing. I mean, it's pretty cool.
Better than bible-thumping, myopic, sanctimonious, close minded people like my parents.
Wow ... did I say that?
Yeah, well, I guess I'll be joining you down the old Hades Highway.
Posted by
Maidink at January 3, 2007 10:41 PM
Weird! I totally got drunk on the holy spirit this New Year's as well! Oh wait... no. I totally got drunk on half a bottle of wine, some Maker's Mark, a Glenlivet, and a beer. Still - funny coincidence.
Posted by
jenny at January 4, 2007 12:12 AM
Holy shit, I practically spewed water out of my nose at "Bob Saget".
Post a warning on these things, willya? LOL
Good luck with the move!!! Can't wait to hear how it all went.
Posted by
TB at January 4, 2007 08:05 AM
Ah...sounds like holidays with my in-laws. ;)
Posted by
Jess at January 4, 2007 08:15 AM
Don't we all wish Jesus would take the wheel?
Posted by
Karl at January 4, 2007 08:17 AM
Hilarious! I think I'm somewhere in the middle of those conversations.
Posted by
jacquie at January 4, 2007 09:07 AM
Lee - Hehe! Yeah, as a group, they're more extreme than any other I've met. Most Christians here SAY they are and bitch when you're not...but these folks live and breathe it...but are the kindest, funniest people EVER. I love them. :)
Maidink - Yep...a lot of 'em are like that. Sadly. These are great people - not condescending at all. Just...cute. Hehe!
Jenny - I'm right with ya on that one. I was going to get drunk on the holy spirit, but chose Captain Morgan instead. He usually works out for me.
Mr.Fab - Sorry, dude. I hope you didn't cuss when you did that. This is a HOLY post, ya know.
TB - Sooooon!! I'm excited about it! Though, of course, I'm procrastinating like mad! I'll have a big ol' post, I'm sure.
Jess - I'd love these folks as inlaws, actually. They're all great...AND it'd give me some fantastic blog fodder! ;)
Karl - Well, it WOULD help to have the extra set of hands while I'm holding my beer.
Posted by
Chase at January 4, 2007 09:15 AM
"Jesus take the wheel." I like that one. I may start using it in heavy traffic.
Posted by
Mayberry at January 4, 2007 09:19 AM
Well, that explains the disappearance.
Posted by Stan at January 4, 2007 10:16 AM
I'm with your family/friends on The President. Of course, I can't use that word anymore. :-(
Posted by
kapgar at January 4, 2007 12:13 PM
I'll save you a good seat.
Posted by
jali at January 4, 2007 01:42 PM
That's too f'ing funny!
Can you tell which group I would come from???
LOL!
Posted by
Jenifer at January 4, 2007 08:56 PM
Hoooooly Crap!
How did you keep a straight face???
I'm always getting emails and cards like that from Martin's uber republican/uber christian sister.
It's seriously frightening....I mean, her xmas card this year was all about the war and god. Um, ok...what does that have to do w/ xmas? That, and she gave my daughter a tee shirt w/ bible verses on it.
*sigh*
I'm totally joining you in hell.
Posted by
adena at January 4, 2007 09:20 PM
Mayberry - I've started using that one myself! Though...never while I'm driving. I like to keep my own hands there.
Stan - LOL! Well, that's part of it. ;)
Kapgar - You CAN. It'd only cost you a quarter...I think it'd be worth it. JUST DO IT.
Jali - Heheh! Thanks! I'll bring the rum.
Jenifer - Hehe! I sure can! You heathen!!
Adena - LOL I can't keep a straight face around them..they crack me up! That's the good thing - they laugh at themselves too. Cool folks. :) And that's a SCARY xmas card you got...ack!!
Posted by
Chase at January 4, 2007 09:51 PM
"Oooh, darn it all to heck!"
Get OUT!!!! People really talk like that???
Posted by
Izzy at January 4, 2007 10:56 PM
I'm pretty sure my uncle said "Darn it all to heck" at some point over the holidays. But not "Jesus take the wheel." That would have been too much!
Posted by
doahleigh at January 5, 2007 09:47 AM
I'd probably burst into flames if I walked into their house!
:O
Glad I tuned in before I turned in... *snort*
;)
Posted by Pappy at January 5, 2007 09:19 PM
Izzy - Hehe! YES! Of course, not very MANY people...but I am in Oklahoma. You have to assume. ;) Doahleigh - I think you should tell your uncle to start using it. I even say it now it's such a good one! Heheh!Dawn - I'm actually surprised I haven't yet. Nor have they tried to pray for my heathen ass. Of course, they don't really KNOW I'm a heathen. I think I'll leave it that way.Pappy - Go away. I thought you weren't reading my blogs anymore? Stalker McStalkerson. ;)
Posted by
Chase at January 5, 2007 09:28 PM
>:( You could use a little time in church yourself, missy. There's a GINORMOUS Pentecostal church not even a mile from my house. I'll see if they're taking any new followers...
Posted by Pappy at January 6, 2007 08:08 AM
My favorite ever not curse was "Get down sit on a bench". I love when pseudocursing sounds like real cursing.
I didn't know people really watched Pat Robertson if they weren't high.
"Oh no! Jesus, take the wheel!"
Okay I'm from Texas where this is all old hat to me but I'm still on the floor with this one. Ha!
Posted by
Jenny at January 8, 2007 09:45 AM
