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Tig Ol' Bitties

I went into Victoria's Secret today to buy a couple new bras.  While I was in line to pay, the cashier was unsucessfully trying to convince the woman in front of me that she was NOT a 36C, the size of bra she was attempting to buy.

"TRUST.ME. I'm a bra specialist, I can tell by looking at any woman what size she is."

The woman paid no attention and bought her size C, but I (and the woman in line behind me) got a big kick out of giggling at this poor lady, repeatedly being told she's clearly a D, not a C, but she CAN buy a C if she feels ok about wearing a C though she's TOTALLY NOT A C.

The cashier looked at the rest of the women around and announced that something like 80% of women wear the wrong size bra.  I laughed and said, clutching my 36C bras to my side, "so what size am I?"

"You're, what, a double D?" said the bra specialist, eyeing my chest with vague interest.

I squealed and flailed my arms and gasped and spat and clutched my chest and screamed "OH DEAR SWEET JESUS NOOOOOO!!!!"

She shrugged and said, "It's funny, no one ever believes me until I measure them," as she walked away.

I turned to the woman behind me, helpless and panting and hoping to god that NO ONE HEARD HER say such evil things about my wittle boobies.  I wear 36C.  Have for years.  I can also fit just fine into a 34D, but still.  There's nothing double about it.

Thank god the woman left to help another customer, so when I set my 36C bras up on the counter, I didn't have to go through the "BUT YOU'RE CERTAINLY NOT A 36C!!!" thing.  I just snuck out of there before evil boobie-size-guesser could figure out what size I ended up buying.

I drove home, wondering if every woman on earth is just out there, squeezing their other-sized honkers into 36C bras because it just sounds like such a nice, cozy size.  I was concerned that maybe I really was a double D-size girl.  And it was making my stomach church just a little bit because, um, HELLO!?  Double D!

I got home and the first thing I did was run to the bathroom, take off my bra, and look at the size.  Victoria's Secret.  Size 36C.  Fitting just fine, thankyouverymuch.  Just like all my other 36C bras.  I sighed with relief and took out my new pink bra.  Ahhhhh.

Tried it on. 

Um.  TRIED....to try it on.

It didn't even cover half of my boob.  Wha?!  I let out a broken squeak and threw it back into the bag, snatching my new white bra instead.   It too!  WAY TOO EFFING SMALL!

WTF?

Are they changing bra sizes now like they are clothing sizes?  Where did my beloved 36C bras go?  Am I going to forever have to ask sales people for DOUBLE D bras now??  

Dear good lord, help me. 

And, um, while you're helping, lord, pleeeeeease don't let evil boobie-size-guesser be there when I go to exchange my bras tomorrow.  She's gonna point at my somehow larger-than-life boobs and laugh and tell everyone in the store that I'm clearly not a C but I bought a C anyway even though I'm TOTALLY NOT A C .

*gulp*

April 11, 2007 08:58 PM |
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Comments

Perhaps you should post photos of you in the bras and we can let you know if they look like they fit or not. It would be no trouble at all, honestly.
Posted by Dave2 at April 11, 2007 10:22 PM

LOL I wear a 36c. Maybe I should head for the DDs next time!!
Posted by Sueb0b at April 11, 2007 11:15 PM

I'm sorry, I was distracted...what was the question again? ;) I think a lot of places are smalling down their sizes, which sucks!
Posted by Hilly at April 12, 2007 12:08 AM

Oh girl, I feel your pain. I seriously have no idea what size I am at this point and it keeps getting WORSE. I've upsized twice already and the DDs that I'm wearing now are too small again. I have to buy new bras for breastfeeding and I'm shuddering to think that I'm going to be an E or god love me, an F, what the fuck is THAT?
Posted by TB at April 12, 2007 04:22 AM

I guess, as a guy, I don't understand the complaint. Most of us would kill to have to wear a triple-D dongsack or whatever they're calling underwear today.
Posted by Dr. Pants at April 12, 2007 07:59 AM

Oh good God, I certainly hope they are sizing down. I am so tiny up there that they don't even ever carry my bra size anywhere except the children't department, and it's hard to find a nice sexy comfy super padded bra there! If they are sizing down, maybe someday I will fit into a 32 A, which I believe would get me back up to the grown up section. I would be afraid to go into a Victoria's Secret again because the last time I did, the girl measured me and then sent me away telling me they "don't have anything that small here".
Posted by tori at April 12, 2007 08:01 AM

I went through the same thing last September. I'm a 34 B and the lady in Macy's was all, "Honey, you're either a 36C or 34D." I thought she was nuts. Umm, she was right.
Posted by Maidink at April 12, 2007 08:01 AM

So what's the big deal? Why not just let them measure you? They probably have different sizes in different stores or something. Maybe try going to a different store and see how their bras fit you...?
Posted by Karl at April 12, 2007 08:02 AM

I read a similar post elsewhere recently. I think Victoria Secret wants women to think they're bigger than they are because VS is all about the sexy and what's sexy? Huge boobs of course. I wear a 36D, but when I shop at VS now, I have to buy a 36DD. Which is why I probably won't shop there anymore because that is too confusing.
Posted by doahleigh at April 12, 2007 08:48 AM

I know it's not sexy, but the ladies at the Bust Stop are pros and they're right on the money. In other news, Max came in today and said he had boobies. He was pulling his shirt out at his tummy. I mentioned he was hangin' a little low and he replied, "Not if I'm YOU." Little bastard.
Posted by chilihead at April 12, 2007 11:58 AM

OMG I totally think that is true!!1 And I think it is ONLY at victoria's secret. Seriously. go buy your trusty 36C some place else and you will SEE!!!
Posted by Miss Britt at April 12, 2007 12:33 PM

I would kill for the boobs (or lack of) that I had when I was 12. It would make clothing much easier and I'm only a 36C now, bahahaha ok, 40C is more like it and VS would probably call me a D
Posted by Jerri Ann at April 12, 2007 05:22 PM

Dave - HA! Somehow, I knew you'd be the first responder to this post. And, again, SOMEHOW I knew that you'd like to make your own observations. *sigh* Tis why I love ya, baby.Suebob - If you go to VS, please let me know if they say the same thing to you! I wanted to melt into the scenery when she yelled that at me. Hahah!Hilly - HEY! Stop looking at my (apparently HUGE) boobs! I'll send ya a picture instead. :)TB - Oh good lord! ROFL! I guess if I ever have a baby, lord help the world and my boobs then because I'll probably be up in the triple digits! AAAACCCK!!!Pants - Well, of course! And some women wouldn't mind having bigger boobs, either. But when you've had big boobs all your life, you usually don't like them much. And then if someone tells you you're a LOT bigger than you thought? Nightmare! I know you (aka most men) wouldn't understand...just trust me. ;)Tori - LOL! Ok, yeah, that's a nightmare too, I bet! Hell, if I keep going in VS, one of these days, they're going to tell me that I can't shop there either because they don't carry anything so ginormous!Maidink - Did you just fall on the floor right there?! I seriously about tripped and fell over because I was spinning around so fast to tell the girl behind me that I was soooooo not that size. LOL!Karl - Well, that was the thing. I was at the time wearing a VS 36C and it fit fine...their others just didn't fit AT ALL. It was weird. And I would probably have done the measuring thing if I weren't so flabbergasted at the time. I can't imagine how red my face was at the time. Heh!Doaleigh - Oh I'm SO glad you posted that! I'm going to go somewhere else just to see. And I certainly won't miss spending $50 per bra!! :)Chili - Actually, I DID go to Bust Stop several years ago. When I walked in, the lady was all "you're a D"...but when she measured me, she said 36C (though we decided I could do the 34D, too). So I did that, though it's been awhile back. That's why I was so shocked, I suppose.Britt - YAY! That's two people saying they went through the same thing! I'm feeling MUCH better about my 36C (NOT DOUBLE D) boobs! LOL!Jerri Ann - LOL! Well, I didn't have ANY boobs until I was about 15, so I don't want to go back to THAT. But I was juuust fine with my C cup. I'd like it to stay that way! Hehe!!
Posted by Chase at April 12, 2007 05:46 PM

Too weird! I was just totally getting measured in Victoria's Secret a couple of weeks ago! I think they are changing their sizes. I'm a 36D normally and I had to go up to a 38. I also didn't believe the lady, but sure enough, the 36's were too tight. And I've lost weight so that pissed me off! But, the 38's seemed a little big, too. Maybe they're planning on introducing half-sizes and are totally fucking with our minds, trying to drive us crazy with these size issues so we'll race to their store when the half-sizes come out. Or maybe I just need to lose even more weight. Nah, I'll go with the other scenario.
Posted by blondeblogger at April 12, 2007 05:59 PM

My friend green3 sent me to you because she was sure I had written this post! I went to VS to buy the 34C I'd been buying for several years. The lady measured me and said I was a 32D. She also said they don't make that size. I laughed right in her face. I've told so many of my friends my 32D story that now it's a running joke. I agree that I really AM a 32D, cuz it sounds like I'm huge. =)
Posted by nek&eak'smom at April 12, 2007 09:02 PM

That bitch probably ripped out the tag and sewed on a new one just so she'd be able to say "I told you so." Most embarassing moment of my life? Being fitted for a nipple-less bustier by two women who were violently fighting with one boob each while another woman supervised and my mom yelling "encouragements". True story.
Posted by Jenny at April 13, 2007 12:56 PM

Official protest from someone who has mini - me breasts. Double f***ing D indeed! Let's talk A (or A minus). Hmmmmph.
Posted by jali at April 13, 2007 02:12 PM

I swear I don't look it but I'm a 32C. I can't afford the $100 they charge for the "specialty" size, so I usually get a 34B or a 34C, depending on cut and style. I've given up on actually shopping in the VS stores. The ones here only employee snotty little bitches who prefer chatting on their cells than anything.
Posted by Sarah at April 13, 2007 05:27 PM

Blondie - Ya know, I thought the same thing about my weight. I've gained some, but certainly not enough to make my boobs THAT much bigger. Geez! And seems no matter what range I'm in, my boobs stay about the same. I seriously am beginning to think it's a conspiracy. GAH.Nek&Eask'sMom - HA! See? I knew it...it's totally something VS's marketing department is trying out. If B cup women want to have C boobs, all they have to do is shop at VS! How convenient! GRRRRRR. (Thanks for stopping by though! I love me some Green3!)Jenny - Oh MAN! Hahhahaha!! I had to read that to The Boyfriend and even HE was embarassed for you. HAHAH! That's nuts. Seriously...only YOU, woman.Jali - LOL! Want to trade for a couple of weeks and see how the other half live? I'd totally do it!!Sarah - Yikes, $100?? I ended up returning those bras today and was THRILLED to get my $70 back. I can't imagine $100 each. And yeah, methinks I'm giving up VS for good. That just left a bad taste in my mouth.
Posted by Chase at April 13, 2007 07:28 PM

UGH! People at VS think because they have a tape measure around their neck and they read a book that they know what they are doing. I have never ONCE in my life been measured right at that place. When I was in a 38I They tried to tell me I was a 42DDD.. Right after my surgery I thought I would let them measure me for the hell of it...they always measure wrong and then get defensive when I show them they are wrong, cause sure enough I marched out of the dressing room in a totally different size (and they had tld me that they don't carry my size in the store) Maybe I need to start a bra store!I'll go bra shopping with you (in a shiney way) next time I come down! It would be a good laugh LOL!
Posted by Miracle at April 15, 2007 01:35 PM

What's the problem? I see this as nothing but good news.
Posted by Mr. Fabulous at April 15, 2007 04:34 PM

It is in my opinion that Victoria Secret runs Small so that all those really FLAT chested women will think they are bigger than they actually are and therefore buy VS bras. (because I am a D and cannot wear VS bras.)
Posted by Karmyn R at April 16, 2007 05:25 PM

TOTALLY agree with Karmyn R above... I just returned my (gasp) D's via mail for a couple of DD's at Victoria's Secret, and was appalled... (Plus that crap is 'spensive, yo) Then, just for shits and giggles, I tried on a DD at Target yesterday (this is the only "clothing store" near where we live). It was like putting two huge ice cream cones over two maraschino cherries... the thing covered half my torso, wrapped into my pits, and my boobies barely filled up half of it. I have a feeling that THAT is a "real" DD... Think about the Vicky S ads -- they make Gisele look like she has big knockers... I'd recommend a boycott if I didn't like those stupid IPEX bras so damned much...
Posted by Nancy at April 17, 2007 08:03 AM

Miracle - LOL I'd totally shop at your bra store! :) I actually went elsewhere today and bought two bras. Guess what? Not DD and not $50 each! HA!Mr.Fab - No, no, no...you don't understand. I like to actually fit into shirts. Double D doesn't make that any easier.Karmyn - I now realize that you're right about that. I never would have thought they'd do that, but now I know! I won't be shopping there anymore! :)Nancy - I JUST did the same thing!! I picked up the DD and could almost fit my head in it. SOOOO not my size. I bought two others, though, and love 'em! :)
Posted by Chase at April 17, 2007 01:53 PM

changing sizes is so stupid!! why do they do that??
Posted by webmiztris at April 18, 2007 05:26 PM

Where are you, Chase?! Stop doing your boyfriend and come back to us, lol! I nominated you and you're not even around to thank me! :)
Posted by blondeblogger at April 19, 2007 08:36 PM

Gotta say, the statistics are correct though. I've seen at least 3 different shows that hit on this subject, and only 1 of them was in VS. Yes, 80% of us are walking around in the wrong size bra !! Its' funny I should see this right now.. I'm on my way to VS for new bras myself ! This time I think I will ask for a true fitting. I like VS because they fit better and last longer than any bra you can buy at Target or Macy's. The mass market stuff is just that-- mass market, you can't get a real fitting in Target and those Cross Your Heart bras are sized to fit as many people as possible.
Posted by LadynRed at April 21, 2007 10:56 AM

Have you been using Dr. Brominski's Super Magic Boob Growing Cream and actually got it to work? Because...uh..I have this...uh..."friend"...who's been trying to get her boobs to grow...and uhmm...uh Oh nevermind. Maybe that flower you're wearing in your photo has magical boob growing properties.
Posted by jozet at April 26, 2007 07:35 AM

aaaaaaaaand.....Chase disappears back into the abyss.
Posted by adena at April 28, 2007 10:36 AM

I am a 44 d. I shop at Lane bryant. Victoria secret bras do run small and ₮HΣΨ are 2 expensive. Shop around. There are sooo many other places u can go.
Posted by adri at June 6, 2007 02:55 AM

show me the tig ol bitties
Posted by wdterter at June 29, 2007 03:01 PM