Good morning. Professor Chase here.
I believe in evolution. The Boyfriend does not.
While it should be no question that I'm right (I'm the professor afterall), it's time that I offer to you my highly sought-after scientifc analysis and evolutionary...uhm...rhetoric?...to prove this theory. Yeah.
Since The Boyfriend is a nerd an engineering major and therefore best taught with visual stimuli, I shall offer diagrams and graphic explanations of my...theorem. (?)
So here is my presentation. Please pay attention. You may ask questions when lecture is over.
Evolution...case in point :
Class, please note opposable thumbs on both specimens. Without opposable thumbs, humans would not be able to do important tasks in life, such as play XBox or pretend to play drums on the steering wheel. We bought our thumbs from the monkeys. Or. Um. Something like that.
Moving on.

Pay close attention to the mouth in both specimens. While it may look to you non-scientific folks like they are doing a duet of "Sexyback", they aren't. They're clearly mouthing the word "evoluuuuuution". And you can't really argue with monkeys saying "evolution," now can you? That's what I thought.
Next slide, please.
This set shows the facial structures of the two specimens. Please note the similarities between the curve of the lips, the alert brown eyes, the flat brow, the sharp nose, the mustache....wait. Dammit, who wrote that?!
Ahem.
MOVING ON.

The relation between the two specimens is quite apparent. Nappy hair. Big ears. Scarily large mouth. Stained teeth. Gums that are entirely too big for their smiles.
Seriously nasty creatures. And obviously closely related. (And, really, did you see the gums on that thing? JEEBUS!)
So, see, class? Evolution is easy. Just look at the evidence offered here today. I hope you kids learned something today. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'll...uhm...get right on those. Yeah.
And, a special note to The Boyfriend of the professor...

...the monkey don't fall far from the tree, do he?
OOOO OOOO EEEE EEEEE EEEEE!!

