Happy? Thanksgiving?

We got a flyer at church last weekend (yes, I'm still going to church with Mr.Tango. Don't tell Satan...he'll be sooooo pissed!) announcing a Thanksgiving food drive. 

I'm all for helping the needy...and always want to help in a food drive.  ESPECIALLY a holiday food drive.

However...um.  Uhhhhh.  Well?  Here's the complete food list.

Hmmm.

Is it just me?  Is this what YOU have for Thanksgiving?

Remind me to decline any invitiation to join the preacher of this church for the holidays. 

Seriously. 


Posted by Chase at 06:49 PM | | Comments (8)


The World Will End In 3 Weeks
In about three weeks, we're having a mini engagement dinner of sorts.  We're cooking out on our new grill.  We're celebrating our love.  We're having the parents meet each other.
 
Wait...what?
 
Let me reiterate this.  THE PARENTS ARE MEETING.  Let's have a rundown of the situation, shall we? 
 
Tango's parents
 
Views : Conservative, for God
Demeanor : Soft-spoken and kind
Affiliation : Republican
Religion : Uber Christian 
On their bookshelves : Anything with the word "Bible" or "Jesus"
Always on the tv : Smallville...wholesome and sweet
 
 
Chase's parents
 
Views : Liberal, by god!
Demeanor : Loud-mouthed and full of cursing
Affiliation : Democrat
Religion : Hardcore atheist 
On their bookshelves : Probably porn
Always on the tv : American Idol...a little bit trashy
 
 
When I first told my father Tango and I were getting married, he said, "So is there any chance we can gather around him for an intervention? I mean, he's a REPUBLICAN."  And another time when I told my father that my brother hadn't met him yet, father said, "No, but he certainly knows he's a REPUBLICAN."
 
I'm beginning to think they don't like that word or something. 
 
Man, I can't WAIT for this dinner.  
 
Our money is on someone getting stabbed with the big grill fork before it's all over.
 
Wanna put $5 in the pot?  All proceeds go toward cleaning the blood out of our carpet.
Posted by Chase at 05:07 PM | | Comments (15)


No Wonder He Makes Me Sit In The Back

I still go to church with The Boyfriend.  At least once during each service I lean over to him and ask a question...or make a comment.  Here are a few of my recent ones:

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Pastor : Some people ask, when tragedy strikes, where is God?

Me : Fishing?

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Pastor : Eli heard the Lord call his name, but did not know the Lord's voice, so went to his father, saying, 'I am here, father. Did you call?" And his father said he did not call, to go lie back down.  He went back to bed and heard the Lord call his name again, and again went to his father and said, "I am here, father. Did you call?" And his father again said he did not call, to go lie back down. Eli returned to his bed and heard his name called again....

Me : I'm thinking Eli was just schizophrenic.

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Pastor : The Bible says to be childlike...because to be childlike is to be Godlike. 

Me : But what if I'm like a Hindu child?

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Pastor : God wants to touch your life in every way.

Me : Heeee. God wants to touch your penis.

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Pastor : ...Jesus raised from the dead.

Me : Zombie Jesus wants brains!!!!

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And yet he allows me to still be his girlfriend.  He must REALLY like me.

Posted by Chase at 10:39 PM | | Comments (15)