Well, I do believe that, after almost 2 years, Taste The World has run its course.

I've been bored with blogging (or, how it really is, strugging for stuff to come up with for blogging) for awhile now, but just thought I was in a slump.  But if I'm bored in writing it, everyone else is probably bored in reading it. 

And, ya know...I really AM bored with it.

I'm going to continue reading blogs, but I think this here site is ready to retire.  After much consideration, I decided to take it down.  I will probably still update Tango Cakes once in awhile...but that's it.

I've been trying to figure out how to delete this website and still keep my tastetheworld.org email address.  I got an email from Yahoo today telling me how to do just that (which has, like, 5000 steps).  So as soon as I find time to do that, I'm outta here. 

I'll see you all around the blogosphere, but I wanted to say thank you for all your reading and comments and being the bestest internets around.  I lurve you all.  

*big fat smoochies!*

Love, Chase, Tango & fat Moxie

**ETA

Lisa gave me the perfect post award for this post.  Thanks Lisa!  (Now watch as I advertise the Perfect Post Awards with this here button!) 

Lately I've noticed that pretty much everything is an advertisment.  And it's really beginning to annoy me.

You can't go to a single website without having to navigate through the scrolling and pop-up and blinking and TALKING, for gods sake, and bright, shiny, pretty, catch-my-attention ads. 

Some QuikTrips turned into Kwik E Marts for the Simpson's movie. 

Myspace is just one!big!advertisement! now.  It was a much nicer place when it was just pedophelia and internet stalkers.

TV shows' product placement is getting seriously retarded.  "I'm leaving you, Bill.....now watch me drive away in my super awesome Toyota Camry!!!!" 

On the Today Show yesterday, the centerpieces on their coffee table were containers of french fry apples from Burger King.  With the labels perfectly facing the camera, of course. Burger King centerpieces. Seriously?

And, I hate to say it, but BlogHer is taking over the web.  Which, yay, great for you...but geez louise!  I couldn't ignore those ads harder if I tried.  I'M NOT CLICKING.  And thank god for feed readers.  There aren't many blogs I read that DON'T have BlogHer ads.

I have to admit, though, I got an email (or five) from BlogHer about joining their ad network.  And I truly considered it.  I saved the emails for a long time, going back and forth with "do I want an extra five dollars a year?" and "GOD I hate ads". 

When I first started blogging, that was my GOAL : get enough readers where I could get *gasp* AT LEAST ONE AD!  Pleeeeeeeeeeeease!!!  Yeah.  Not so much now. 

So I just deleted the BlogHer emails.  I don't like looking at ads.  Why would I want them to annoy me on my own site?  Bleh.

While I was at it, I decided to delete all the links to everything in my sidebars.  (Not including my other site...and my link to my site designer, who just plain ol' rocks my socks.)  No badges, no awards, no nothing.

I've taken it all off.  I'm....well....naked.

And, boy, does it feel good. 

(The irony here is that I always thought the best job in the world would be in advertising...copywriting, actually. And it WOULD be a great job.  But I'm afraid I'd probably gouge my eyes out at the end of the workday. Life's funny, eh?)

I started Taste The World almost 2 years ago.  Shortly after I started it, I started another blog called Painter Chick.  Then started another called Chasing Beagles.  (Get it? Chase? Heh. I rule.)  Anyway, both of those failed miserably.  Mainly because I got horribly bored of them...and of listening to myself yapping on them.

So I deleted them. Quickly.

Then I decided I'd start yet another one, called Late Night Chase.  It was really fun for me for awhile, until, like everything else, I got all A.D.D. and lost total interest after about, oh, an hour?

So I just stopped posting over there. (Did you notice my last post was in January? Yeah. Maybe some day I'll start it again.)

So yeah! The next natural step is to start yet another blog, right? Brilliance!!

I've been doing so much baking and decorating and experimenting in the kitchen that I had to start a new blog just to talk about that stuff...without boring the bejeezus out of you all.  Not that I don't do that already, but anyway. Shut up.

So I'd like to welcome my new baby to the blogworld: Tango Cakes!

I'll be putting up my trials, pictures and recipes...and my failures. 

Come over and see me sometime!!

Take a gander at this!! 

I was just doing a random google search for my site and saw I was nominated for Hottest Mommy Blogger.

I'm SO thrilled!!!

Ok, so yeah, I'm not a mommy...or a mommyblogger...but still.  At the very least, I'm the HOTTEST!

(And 5 other people seem to think so too! Woot!)

*still giggling*

I totally love you, OhTheJoys! Even though you're WAY hotter than I.

Today marks the one year annivesary of me starting up Taste The World, my very own little ol' corner of the blog world.  *gleam*  I'm so proud! 

Since I, um, kinda missed De-Lurking week forever ago, could you please comment now if you're still a lurkster? I'll love you long time if you do! For me?  For my anniversary? Pretty please? I'll show you my boobs.

(Not really, J, honey...those are for your eyes only. *MWAH*)

(quick, everybody! before J sees!)

Ahem.

SO!  To celebrate, I'd like to tell you to LEAVE MY WEBSITE NOW (afteryouleaveacomment) and go see these other things. I'm spreadin' the love, yo.

• First of all, I'd like to point you in the direction of Jenny Lawson, a contributer to Mama Drama.  I'd been reading her posts for awhile but somewhat recently broke down and did what any self-respecting admiring blogger would do: I read every.single.thing from her archives and then sent her an email telling her I was going to start stalking her from now on because she was funny and pretty and smart and she better watch out because I live in Texas now too and because I freaking looooooooooove her.  She was nice in her response and implied that she wouldn't be calling the cops. Thank you, Jenny. Can I touch your hair?
• Then there's Indexed.  You may have heard of it, but I just found it today (thanks, Jess!).  AMAZING.  Brilliant. Funny. Makes you use your head. Just go read it. I've been playing in the archives all afternoon and never tire of it!
• Most of you already know Suebob, but I'm going to give you her Linkateria blog anyway.  I freaking LOVE it.  She finds some great info/stories/funny stuff out there and shares it with everyone. I didn't think I could be more lazy on this computer than I was already...but I was WRONG, thanks to Suebob!  (Did I mention that Suebob brought me fresh mint leaves at BlogHer so I could make mojitos?! How great is she??)
• Izzy was just talking about not wanting to call our parts "vaginas" and "penises" with her kids.  Well, here ya go, Izzy...a site listing all the euphemisms you could ever want!  Hilarious!

So. Go now. Before I kill you.

(*whispers* Not you, Jenny)

Ahem.

For 2007, I resolve not to pretend to know how to customize the default settings of any of the plugins on my blog's control panel because when I do it shuts down my blog completely and doesn't allow you guys to comment or me to post a new blog explaining that, um, I don't know why you can't comment, and then it takes me 3 days to figure out what the hell happened.

I also resolve to become a super jedi ninja chick.

Holy mother of Pete.

It's been so many days that I've had NO INTERNET that I'm juuuust about dead.  Yesterday I turned on a computer for the first time in about 2 weeks and it was nearly orgasmic.

*shudder*

Right now I'm on a connection that is iffy enough that I might throw this laptop against the wall if this doesn't post.  (And that wouldn't be good, seeing as it's not so much my computer.)  MY computer is stuffed deep away in the bowels of Hell my storage unit.  I'll be taking it (and a load of other crapola) to Texas tomorrow...one of a few remaining trips.

I know you all feel abandoned, unloved, shunned by your Queen Chase.  (heee!) But I still love you all.  And I will return soon. 

DAMN I have a lot of blogs to catch up on.  I'm terrified to sign into Bloglines. 

*shudder*

(not the good kind that time)

I found out by my sitemeter today that I'm the number one search result when it comes to a few things.  A few very...special...things.

cutest poopy in the world - Poopy! I got the top TWO spots for this search...and, in doing so, beat out both Gawker and Dooce.  THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

cheesecake is gross - UMMMMM. Somebody gonna die for reals.

and an applicator shaped like jodie fosters knuckles - Ahem. Leave it to Chanakin to leave me a comment that brings these people to my site.  Thanks.

Unfortunately, I scored a tad lower on these searches :

a hand in the bush - Only got the 2nd spot for this one. I should really try harder. Heh. Bush.

piss cleaners - Second place again. RATS!

honky formal outfit - I'm actually pretty proud of this 2nd place spot, seeing as I don't think I've ever actually said the word 'honky'.  Until now, of course.

how do you make your sperm taste sweet - Third place?!  I got the shaft.  *snort*  Eh. At least I'm spreading the word about good ol' Spermamax, eh?

Because I haven't been crazy enough lately, I've decided to take on another project. One that will surely make me rip my hair out strand by ever-lovin strand.

NaNoWriMo.

If you don't know what that is, let me explain in just a few tiny words: WRITE A 50,000-WORD NOVEL DURING THE MONTH OF NOVEMBER.

Yeah. That's what I thought, too.  FIFTY THOUSAND.  I don't think I know that many words.

That's just stupid. Crazy. Idiotic. Impossible.  Right? RIGHT??

So, of course, I signed up.  I mean, what else do I have to do in November?  Nothing.

(ok, except maybe work, write on more than one blog, watch Friends reruns daily, get ready for a huge tango performance, celebrate Thanksgiving and OH YEAH move to another state)

God help me.

You know how I was all excited that I got my blogging letterman jacket because I got something for free?  Yeah.  I got a second dose of validation tonight! 

But this one was not quite as exciting.

No, I didn't get any hate mail or rude comments...I'm still DYING to get some of that!

See, I read a post over at MamaTulip's place saying that she would be shutting down her blog.  This made me very sad.  The final straw for her was that someone was stealing all her posts and making money off of them. 

She wrote posts.  Someone else posted 'em and made money from it.  Niiiiice.

Just out of curiosity, I went to the links she provided and guess.what?  They're stealing my posts, too!

(yeah, I don't know why either...utter crap usually doesn't make much money...trust me)

In all, they jacked 83 of my posts. The entire posts....even pictures of me!  Me - over there - drinking loads of Cap'n Morgan and making someone else some mulah.

THE HELL??

I don't know too much about this, as I just found out and wanted to post because, um...

THE BLOODY HELL?!!?

Find out more here.  See if your stuff is being stolen, too.  Join the party!

*yawn*

What?

Who the hell woke me up?

I swear, anytime I'm nominated for some kind of 'this blog is pretty cool' award, I turn into 'this blog is total suck'.  I certainly don't deserve a freakin' award.

In the last 3 days, I've even lost 4 subscribers.  Four! 

Damn.  I almost think THAT deserves some kind of award. One that I totally deserve.

So.

HBM has a call to action where she wants us bloggers to post about something that we fight for...something we passionately stand up and get the word out about.  So I've been trying to think of something for that call for days. 

You know what I realized?  I GOT NOTHIN' THERE, EITHER!

I don't fight for anything, really.  I don't have a 'cause.'  I'm not a feminist.  I'm not an activist for anything particular.  I'm not a fundraiser thrower, a petition signer, or a representative letter-writer.

Should I be?  Yeah, probably so.  But, I'm really not.  It's just not in my genes, I guess.

So there's that.

I did get two birthday presents off my wishlist, though!  I turn 31 on Monday!  Eeee!

Karl got me the Garden State dvd...my very favorite movie!

And my friend, Ernie, who doesn't have a blog (dammit) got me Bullshit! season 2.  It's awesome!

Another cool thing going down, though, is that my tango partner and I were asked to perform at our instructor's wedding.  (*insert gaping mouth here*)  She started teaching us the choreography this week.  It's all, like, professional and shit.

We're going to make a video of us doing the tango soon, I'll be sure to post it here.

I'm also working on a video in honor of Karl.   Watch out.

So, yeah. 

Hi!  How are you?

I was all gung-ho about my other blog, Late Night Chase, for a while.  Then it kinda, um, died in July.  Oops!

But I, like the God(dess) I am, raised it from the dead a little while ago.  So, don't forget to go see me over there, too! 

In other news, I'm whoring myself out again - and in a different way.  And if you don't like it, you can totally blame it on Karl because he started it!  As you MUST know by now, my birthday is on the 25th.  That's only, like, 2 weeks away!  SQUEEE!

So, because I have no shame, I put my Amazon wishlist up in the left sidebar.  I mean..you know..because I don't have real-life friends to buy me things.

[insert puppy-dog eyes here]

In other, other news...

Britney Spears had another future crackhead bouncing baby boy at 2am this morning.  According to my sources, she named him Yodaddy S'fugginloser.  I think it's French.  Or something.

I just found out I was nominated for 2 Okie Blog Awards : Best Blog Layout and Best Overall Blog!  I only know of a few Oklahoma bloggers who read me, and those I know of probably wouldn't actually nominate me for anything.  So, whoever you are out there, thank you!  That's freaky cool!

(And if you're an Oklahoma blogger, you should totally go vote for me!)

With that nomination announcement, people have been clicking over to my site. Unfortunately, every post on my front page is either about the boring ol' d-o-g or a guest post.  They aren't getting the full awesomeness of Chase.  And who am I to deny new readers that?

So I thought I'd link to some of my favorite posts from my archives for all the newbs here.  Read these and you'll see utter greatness...pure Heaven...that which should win awards.

My first post on this blog : Who Would Jesus Smack?

One of my readers' favorites, where I act all stupid-like.

A step-by-step guide to surviving Oklahoma tornados...Chase-style.

My 'Perfect Post Award'-winning post about the hell that is female puberty.

Please note the little "Today's Special" section to the right.  I had my site designer (Megan) program a sideblog in there because, apparently, I'm NOT smart enough to figure it out myself.

It will be my place to share a "learn something new everyday!" epiphany.  Right now, it's without a comments section, but that will change as soon as my designer gets my email.  Heh. I'll try to update it everyday...but I can't promise anything. 

Also, if you haven't noticed, if you're a regular commenter, your comments are no longer moderated!  My geekily sexy friend, Chanakin, added a plugin to my site that allows return commenters to just put up any ol' thing they want.

So, um, that means you have to BEHAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

(Can't believe I'm trusting you people. Yipes.)

It also means you can just post.  No waiting.  No stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, CAPTCHAs.  No having to moderate on my part (unless you're posting from a new IP).  So yeah. You're welcome.

Also, since everyone is doing it, I thought I'd pimp my upcoming birthday.  I'll be 31 on Sept.25!  So, um, I need some sort of celebration.  Maybe you guys can buy me stuff.  Or, like, send me all your money.  That'd be cool, too.  Thanks!

I think this is the first time in the history of the universe since I started this blog 6 months ago that I haven't posted three days in a row.  Three!  Even when I had a mental breakdown a couple of weeks ago and couldn't uncurl from a sobbing ball, I made time to update the ol' blog.

But lately?  It started with me deciding I needed to socialize - to get out of the house a little.  I've gone to the movie theater, something I hadn't done in months.  I've had lunch with friends (real life friends!).  I've gone out drinking with friends I haven't seen in months (and years, in one case!).  I've had guests over (rented movies, had dinner, talked all night!).  I've done some remodeling on the house (ripped up old carpet, painted, cleared out flower beds, hung crown moulding!).  I've worked...A LOT.  Seven days a week, my friends, SEVEN!

It's taking a toll on my blogging time.  What is this 'life' thing?!  It's screwing up my schedule!!

But it feels kinda good, too. 

------------insert good segue here-------------

Guess what I did yesterday? 

We drove to Kansas to visit our new adopted doggy!  Since we lost the oldest, had to give up the youngest, and now that I'm moving out of state and Shellie is staying by herself here...we decided she needed a dog.  A bigger dog.  So we adopted a Australian Shepherd mix from a rescue.

Everyone, meet ___________ (no name picked yet).  We get him Friday!

How cute is this one?!   Lord'a'mercy.  Like I need anything else to keep me off this computer.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Hi! It's me, your devoted BlogHer stalker. No, no, don't get out your mace!  I just have a question.

What? What's that, Amalah? Oh, I mean, sure, who wouldn't want you to autograph their boobs, but that's not really what I was going to ask.  No, really. You can put the marker away. 

I just wanted to know who you caught the attention of recently, because, um, I've been getting a lot of strange google hits in the last week:

"Wikipedia Amalah" - ok, so you have more than one stalker.  Why don't you have your own Wiki page, anyway?

"Amalah stupid" - Hey, now.  That's my stalkee you're talking to, buddy.  She's not stupid.  She just likes to drink lots of wine. Really. Haven't you seen the pictures?

"Amalah stupid dumbass moron" - Good lawd. Who'd you piss off, woman??

Just curious.

Love,

Chase

Quick blog layout question. How do people put blog blurbs* in their sidebar...ones that you can comment on and that will show up in bloglines?  Is it a major undertaking or am I smart enough to do it?

Thanks!

*see : MochaMomma's 'Cuppa the Day' and Little.Yellow.Different's 'mini-blog'

Seriously.

I know this has been blogged about before, but I have to say it here too, since it's stuck in my craw tonight.

I don't understand the big hooplah with men coming to BlogHer.  Why all the outrage, ladies?  BlogHer is about women bloggers, sure, but it's also about everyone who supports women bloggers, and that includes men.  Husbands, boyfriends, family, friends. 

The BlogHer site even says right here that men are more than welcome to join BlogHer (wait, wait...it actually sounds a lot like they are encouraging men to join in). 

It's not like when a man shows up this weekend, we're all going to turn into 50s housewives and throw on aprons, dashing madly around the hotel in search of an oven to bake the menfolk a cake.  They aren't coming to the conference for spite...they aren't trying to one-up us by being there. They don't think they're smarter or more special or have to check up on us.

Why would the presence of a man change the fact that we are a group of women bloggers out to make a splash in the internet world (and doing a mighty fine job of it, by the way)? 

So far I've seen men who are attending this conference being called meddlers, perverts, jerks, and 'probably just gay'.  Why can't they just be men who support women bloggers?  Why do they have to have this seedy agenda? What about the husbands that are coming along to support their wives?  Are they any different because they have a wedding band or are they just trying to keep their wives on a short leash?

Could I use more question marks in one paragraph?

I have male friends who will be at the conference. I'll proudly sit by them.  (Unless one of 'em farts...then I'll probably move over a seat or two.)  I also tried to beg a couple other male blogger friends to come along, but they said no for fear of being treated like this.  That's real positive.  Way to play out the stereotypes.

I seriously just don't understand this rage. 

I just read this by Lisa Stone, the founder of BlogHer.  She quotes Chris Nolan:

"And I think you'll be very surprised to see that this is NOT a convention about "why it's unfair that men run the world." Nor is it a "sisterhood-only event." It's for EVERYONE."

And then she sums it up perfectly by saying, simply, "Amen."  Amen is right, people.  FREAKIN' GET OVER IT.   *sheepish grin* 

(Don't hurt me, ok? And, um, please come back and read my blog because I totally love you and you can hate men if you wanna and I won't judge you.)

And, also?

Dear Karl who will be at BlogHer,

If you want, I'll still bake you a cake like a 50s housewife. With an apron on and everything.  With...ONLY....an apron on, that is. 

Love, Chaseypoo

Ok. I'm done. Continue as you were.

After about 4 hours of screaming at my computer, my printer, and Avery.com, I gave up on making my own business cards.  Let's just say I wasted a LOT of ink trying to get the template to match up (which it never did, fuckyouverymuch).

So I raged until Shellie stepped up and said, "umm...just let me take it to work and do it" so I spit on my Avery packages and told her to give it a shot.  Seriously.  I was FUMING.

She called me today after about 30 minutes and chirpped, "They're all done!"

I just went and picked them up.  YAY!  Looky!

(The big mess under my name is my real name marked out...I didn't want that on the net quite yet)

I love them!!

Of course, in true Chase style, as soon as I walked to the front door with them, I saw a bee buzzing around my face, so I screamed and raced inside, slamming the door and throwing both the package of biz cards and my full Diet Coke can onto the floor in an OH MY GOD THEY'RE ATTACKING MY EYES!!!!! panic.

So, forgive me if the card you get is sticky.  I swear it's not what you think it is.

3 DAYS UNTIL ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE IN SAN JOSE

I met my first bloggin' ladies tonight!  In real life! 

I met both the So-Famous-I-Wanted-An-Autograph Shannon from Rocks In My Dryer and the Way-Too-Cute-And-I-Freaking-Love-Her Chilihead from Don't Try This At Home.  I was all cool and calm and only giggled enough that they wouldn't throw me out and lock the door behind me.  And I didn't tinkle.  Much.

At least until I got back in my car and said "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" and then raced home to tell Shellie about 30 times that I FINALLY MET CHILI AND OH MY GOD I MET CHILI CHILI CHILI BECAUSE I TOTALLY HAVE BEEN READING HER FOREVER AND GUESS WHAT ELSE? I MET CHILI!!!!!

To which Shellie nodded and said several "that's nice"s.  But, um?  Hi, I met Chili.  And she's just this itty little redhead (who wasn't wearing her fake nose/glasses get-up this time) you just wanna squeeze.  But I didn't.  Because 9-1-1 is an easy number to call and I think Shannon had her hand on the phone just in case.

It was a very tiny taste of things to come at BlogHer (which Shannon and Chili are NOT attending, dammit!!), and I just simply can't wait. 

By the way, when we were all ever-so-enthusiastically chatting about SiteMeter and Movable Type and Bloglines, I wish you could have seen the look on Chili's hubby's face.  He was so bored with our yammering that I think he almost drooled onto his shirt.  Really. 

It was awesome.

It was SO nice to meet you ladies today.  We will do it again. 

Here are my favorite 10 recent google searches that landed people at my site (my comments in italics):

10. Awesome 36C boobs (why, thank you, baby...I grew them myself)

9. Lactose gas fart  (oops, you heard that? sorry)

8. Lady shaking and touching her boobies (boy, have you come to the right place!!)

7. How come I haven't grown boobs after my period? (you poor thing - I feel for ya)

6. mexican girls farting (wtf?!)

5. Ooh ahh oh ahh said an 11 year old boy  (I repeat...WTF??)

4. Mouth that you use on flowers (*snort* You can put your mouth on my flower, baby)

3. I can feel a little poke coming through (why...have we been dancing?)

2. Procedures for milking men  (milking?! boy, do you have a surprise coming) (no pun intended)

1. Her boobs were the size of basketballs and still growing (now THAT sucks!)

---------------------

I've also been a crapola landlord this week.  If you haven't seen A Pond Perspective, go have a gander.  There are some pretty damn funny pics up there - today is the fattest giraffe I've ever freaking seen.  Sure, it's not real, but it made me gasp. Also, be sure to scroll down 2 entries and see the diamond-studded cars from Saudia Arabia...because, really, there's not anything that country needs to spend money on other than diamond-studded cars.

I was going to volunteer to help do the whole Blogme thing MochaMomma came up with, but I kept getting confused on what all I was supposed to do.  Interview people...fill out a meme...get my bikini area done with coffee-scented wax....what-the-freak-ever.

See, they give a little explanation here but by the time I reach the code, my ADD kicks in an I lose track of....

....oh crap, my shoe is untied and I'm about to trip ov.....ooooh, a shiney rock! 

*drools on my keyboard*

I didn't get tagged for this one per se, but Karl just answered it and Mocha yelled at me and threatened to not lick me if I didn't do it (and if I want to be licked by anyone, it's her)...so here is some random stuff about me & Taste The World (from their list of optional questions):

1. When did you start blogging and why? Tell me about your blog. What can I learn about you in under 5 minutes?

Well, lately you can learn that I don't have much to freaking say other than "shit...I have nothing to freaking say."  You can learn I'm a big goofball.  And you can tell I really, really, really like to dance.

I started blogging almost a year ago on <ahem>Myspace<ahem>.  I just wanted a place to write...just to make myself write something everyday.  I'd tried journals, but it never worked for me - so a'blogging I went.  After about 3 weeks of that, I switched over to Blogspot for another handful of weeks.  I got a few actual readers and decided to grow up a little, getting my own domain in February.

I've loved every minute of it.  And have come up with some really stupid posts : some that I'm quite proud of because of just how stupid I can make myself be.  Just looky here.  See?

2. Who do you read everyday, rain or shine?

I have 90 on Bloglines and I read nearly every word of all of them at some point.  There are several that I have to read as soon as they post, though :

Blogography - Dave always makes me laugh. Plus he's hot. And he has a bad monkey.

Chanakin Ricesteamer - Chanakin is a good friend of mine. Plus he's hot. And he said the wedding ring is in the mail...but I ain't seen nothin' yet.

Emails From Jesus - Because, um, it's Jesus and Satan and they'll eat my soul if I don't?

Motherhood Uncensored - Because she's hilarious and she embarrasses me with her topics sometimes.  And I don't get embarrassed.  Oh, and because she's 7 feet tall and has feet like a derranged hobbit and might get them near me if I don't read her.

Niihaus - Lisa makes me laugh more than anyone.  You have to go back to her first month of archives and read the post about her very own vagina monologues.  I swear you won't regret it. 

People.com Blog - Ok, so I like celeb gossip a little too much.  Shut up.

Secondhand Tryptophan - Because it's Karl.  And you all know Karl.  And if you don't, you need to.

This Is NOT The Life I Pictured - Deb is a slutbag.  And I love her. And she talks about me a lot, so I need to go defend myself over there.  And I think we were separated at birth.  And I'm going to cry when I leave San Jose without her.

3. What don't you write about?  What do you consider a no-no in your book?

There's not much I won't say in general, but I usually tend to stay away from politics.  It gets people pissed off and this blog isn't the place for that.  I like to keep things on a light, airy note here.  So...how's about that GW Bush?  BOY does he suck nuts.  Wait...what?

4. How do you feel about meeting bloggers in real life? Are you nervous? Will you have great expectations?

I've met a lot of people in person from my online experiences, but no bloggers yet.  To be quite honest, I'm a little like a small town girl going to California for the first time and hoping to see some movie stars walking down Hollywood Blvd.  I tease about humping peoples' legs, but I promise not to do that (unless you ask nicely). 

But, I swear I'll be all crazy-like on the inside and juuuust on the verge of asking everyone to sign my boobs.

5. So, soon we're going to meet each other at BlogHer. Important question : how do you party?

With a drink in one hand and, if I've had quite a few, a cigarette in the other (sorry Deb), gabbing away and laughing at everything.  If it's one of those nights, I might have a couple of empty tequila shots next to me, too.  Mmmm. Salty goodness.

Tagging Deb....because I know she hasn't done it yet. 

Today is the day that the Perfect Post Awards were announced, so I'm getting hella traffic.  Which, of course, in Chase language means "not only did you not post at ALL yesterday, ha ha, you can't think of anything remotely interesting to talk about today either, you freaking loser!"

So, yeah.  Welcome to my blog, I'm sorry I suck, see ya around on the blogs that have real posts.

In other news, I did get a google search yesterday for "what does flicked the bean mean?"

I must be doing something right.  Heh.

When I was in 7th grade, I ran for Student Council.  I wanted more than anything to be the Vice President.  Why, I have no idea, as I'd never ran for office before, I certainly wasn't a popular kid, I didn't like being in control of anything, and I honestly didn't even know what a Student Council did.

But, by god, I put my heart and soul into the campaign; I made signs, passed out notes to my friends, vote for Chase! please?, and wrote one heck of a campaign speech - which I had to deliver in front of the entire middle school. 

I wrote a big ol' speech, telling of how I'd help improve the system...how I'd fight for the little man...how I'd try to get more functions going because, honestly, why the hell isn't there a Groundhog's Day dance??  You know, typical politician B.S.   I couldn't have cared less - it's not like I'd have been invited to any dances anyway.  (Did I mention I didn't have any boobs?)

The night before the assembly, I read the speech to my father.  He looked up over his glasses at me, wrinkled his nose, and told me it was horrible.  He reminded me that I'm a goofball...that I don't take anything seriously : why should I take the speech so?  He said I needed to be myself, to write like I am - not like I think people want me to be.  He said to be stupid and silly and laugh at myself because that's how I really was.

A light went off in my head and I got it.  It was enlightenment.  Well, about as much enlightenment as a 7th-grader could handle, anyway.  I ran back into my room and wrote a gut-busting, silly, flop-on-the-floor speech.  I read it to him and he smiled and nodded.  I'd done it.  I'd written the winning speech and I was STOKED.

The next day?  I chickened out.  I couldn't read a silly speech - what if people thought I was silly?!  This was a serious office with serious responsibilities...who would vote for someone who was a big ol' goofball?   So I read the serious speech.  And I won.  I won!

But I always wondered what they would have thought about my me speech.

Last night, I was given the opportunity to try it again - to give my me speech - to be....Chase.  Lisa over at Niihaus (one of the most brilliant bloggers there is, by the way) presented the Perfect Post Award to me last night. 

She wanted to honor my Puberty Is Awesome! post....one that ended up being so long and drawn out, I didn't think anyone would read it.  But she did.  And she liked it!  And I WON!  So here's my speech.

Dear blog world,

I'd like to thank you for the opportuni.....eh, screw it. 

I FREAKIN' WON, YO!!!!  Now, where's the tequila?!

Love,

Chase

ps. Thank you, Lisa.  The money I bribed you with will be sent this week.

I got the ol' tag-a-roo from Meg over at Three Sunsets....so click below to read more about Chase (because, honestly, who doesn't want to know more about me?)...

No, not those two things.  You perverts.

• I've put more Vegas pics up on my brand spankin' new Flickr account.  Here is the link to the pictures.  Enjoy!

(Though, please note...everything is in reverse order.  So the plane trouble is at the beginning.  I'm brilliant, and don't you forget it.)

• Also, please welcome my new renter!! YAY!  I'd never seen this blog around and, after reading all 6 of my bidders, chose him because his stuff is so unique.  He posts regular things but then corresponds each post with an eBay auction.  Some are freaking hilarious (I mean, the Jesus on a pregnancy test post? hahahha!) and some are "oh my god!" (the ugly doll...ack!)

 Go see for yourself!

You folks going to BlogHer?  Read this post from Mothergoosemouse.  Participate if you want to join in the info sharing. 

45 days until the big conference, people.  45!  Oh my lord, time is ticking down quickly.  Seems like just yesterday I was squealing "only 128 days!"

I keep getting surprised with who all is going.  And, with each realization, I get a little more nervous.  Today I saw the "I'm going to BlogHer" badge on Mom101's blog and my first thought was 'OH YEAH!!'...my next thought was "oh. my. god." 

My bad-complexion, no-friends, weird-girl, high school self is starting to come back into focus where I thought I'd kicked her to the curb.  I'm great on the internet - I can push my way right in there and give virtual hugs to even the popular kids like the Amalahs and the Dooces. But in person?  Mmmm, yeah, not so brave and put-together. 

Citymama will be there.  I will probably meet Kristen.  At some point, I'll see Sweetney walk by.

Aaaccccckkkkk!!!  It's all too much for my little brain to handle - my head might explode before I actually reach San Jose.  I mean, is it weird that, 45 days out, I'm already stressed out about what I'm going to pack??  What does one wear when one is meeting a Mom101?  A skirt or slacks?  How does one do one's hair when one meets a NinjaPoodle?  Tucked behind the ears or flat-ironed and choppy? 

If I were any more any more psychotic, I'd probably make up an accent.

(Don't worry - I'm not making up an accent)

I'm staying with Deb.  DEB!!!!!  Poor, poor Deb.  I'm glad she's my BFF, otherwise I'd not have a roommate.  And, I'll be hanging with Karl!  I get to run up to him and scream WOOT! as I jump into his arms. 

I can't believe I will be meeting all these people who (who?whom? AAACCCK!) I drool over their brilliance everyday.  I don't get to meet too many people who inspire me, so I'm going to be on "oh my god I freaking love you and your blog and can I take a picture with you because I totally wanna write like you" overdrive from July 27 - July 31.

Jesus H. Christ, keep me away from the tequila.  Seriously.  I don't wanna hump anyone's leg.

At least not until I get back into the hotel room, that is.  

Sorry Deb.

Dear people who found me via Google,

Some of you people are a little strange. I probably would invite you to a party, but only to see what I could get you to eat for $1 :

• farts - what do they look like?
• video because that's what jesus would freakin' do
• Terri Hatcher makes wee

Some of you are a just a tad misdirected.  I'd have to draw you a detailed map so you could get there :

• Deb's blog - are you looking for this?
• beaver time - I think you meant to find this.
• tornado procedures - god help you if you follow this advice.

Some of you scare me just a little and if I knew you were showing up to my house, I'd call the cops...just in case things went awry.  And I'd have a feeling they WOULD go awry :

• man fart in lady's mouth video
• daughter dating black guy help
• peed my panties
• making vagina taste better

And the rest of you?  You could totally be my BFF and we'd have a big slumber party and talk about pigtails and Britney Spears and stuff :

• Oprah bullshit
• Oprah is a bitch
• my beagle's nipples
• I'm a ho

So, thanks for stopping by.  I hope you found what you were looking for.  And I do hope you come back.  (Except maybe the racist ass up there - I hope your daughter marries that fine black man, you jerk). 

Much love,

Chase

--------------------------

Everyone, go take a look at my new renter, the woman with the most recognizalbe header in the blogosphere, Cat.  She's another one I have in my Bloglines.  She's an interesting read - I mean, she has multiple personalities, how couldn't she be??  Plus, um, she's a hottie.  So go check her out.  If you comment (and you should), tell her I sent ya!! Clickypoo.

I wrote a post recently about not having children.  It got the attention of Teri over at Purple Women™, a website with the childfree in mind, and she asked me to be a contributing writer to their blog.  I, of course, said yes.

My first post is up there today, if you'd like to visit me over there and say hi.

To all my parent readers - Purple Women™ is NOT an anti-child site.  I'm not anti-child or anti-parent.  The site is meant as a gathering for people who don't have/want children, to talk about the choice to remain childfree, the pressures of making this choice, and how to change society's view of people who don't want kids.  It's much like the community Mommybloggers and Dotmoms is - just without all the kids. :)  It's a child- and family-friendly site. Otherwise, I wouldn't want to be a part of it.

And, yes, I remain my goofball self over there, too.  So come say hi.  We promise we won't eat your children.  (Unless they taste like cheesecake...then I might have to break that promise - sorry.)

Obviously, we're still having issues with MySQL (whatever the hell that even means).  When it's down, you guys can't comment and I can't post.  The last two times it was down, it was down for 12 hours each time.  YAY!  Brilliant service!

I keep getting "why haven't you switched from Yahoo Hosting yet?"  Let me explain (I'll TRY...unless my site goes down again).

When you sign up for Yahoo Hosting, they already have MovableType and WordPress installed.  All you have to do is name your blog and start typing.  Good fun, yeah?  Well, what they don't tell you (besides that they have about 70% downtime) is that if you ever switch hosts, their files in MovableType aren't the same as the files in NORMAL MovableType, so the mixing of the two equals a site that doesn't work at all.  When you move from this hell, you have to manually rebuild every file, every post, every comment.  And that equals CRAP.

So, because of the hassle, I thought it might be worth it to just stick around and deal with a little downtime and deleted posts and lose a few readers....rather than shut my site down and lose ALL my readers.  But, I'm over that...that's what I'm going to do now.

I have a friend (who I love and want to have his asian babies) who is going to move my site for me soon.  He's in the process of moving his, too...so I'll let ya know when the switch is going down.  He may have found a way to make it quick and painless.  But if not, I might be down for months and months.  (Ok, not really...)

Bear with me.  And comment.....NOW!   Oh crap, you missed your shot.  Loser.

Thanks for hanging around, though, you few that are left.  I love you losers beautiful people.

...MySQL stops working and I can't do anything with my blog.

It makes me REALLY happy!! 

I think you can leave comments now.  I think....

I don't want to bum you guys out everyday. And I'm actually in a pretty darn good mood today.  SO, I wanted to share with you my new blogging venture.

I always say that I'm not into the whole celebrity thing, but somehow tend to know all the hubub that's going on in Hollywood - and even add in my own tidbits.  I've played around with that on this blog a little (Teri Hatcher's vagina, Miller Lyte McCaughnehheheyayyhaydhayy, etc) and thought it was just down right fun.

So I've started another blog.  Late Night Chase!  (Isn't that name clever?) In case you miss the night-time talkies (Letterman, Leno & Conan - and sometimes ET & Access Hollywood!), you can read up over there and see if you missed anything funny, stupid, or dang interesting.  I post it as soon as I see it, folks.  I'm just that special. 

So, yeah.  Go see.  Tell all your friends.  Blogroll me.  Bring me an egg mcmuffin.

Everyone probably knows about the James Frey hooplah by now.  If not, let me sum it up : James Frey wrote a book called "A Million Little Pieces", a memoir of his drug addiction.  After the book being on the New York Times best seller list, it came out that he embellished and changed some facts.  It was a huge deal : he was humiliated, called a liar, and publically shamed by Oprah and her massive ego. He went from praised author to a conman.  He is being sued by readers who claim they just wasted their time.

It's been quite awhile since this story broke and it still flames me to no end. Especially the whole Oprah fiasco.  After the facts started coming out, Frey was on Larry King.  Oprah called in and defended him, saying, regardless of his embellishments, she believed the story was important and inspirational.  As soon as her flock started bleeting at her that they were upset, she threw a fit, called him a liar and whined that she was duped, and had him come back on her show so she could spit at him in front of the world.

Sick. I'm still just sick over it. And it's why I never wrote about it before.

Sure, he changed some facts. Sure he added a little here and there.  His book people KNEW it wasn't fact - he even tried to publish it as fiction - shouldn't THEY be the ones getting spanked by Oprah?

The real reason I brought this up is because of my own embellishing.  It's part of my writing - I add or remove a little, depending on what makes the story flow a little better.  I noticed it when I wrote my magazine articles the other day.  Most of it was true, but that one extra (false) sentence just tied it all together. The blog about the tornado?  All true...except maybe a few minor details (I didn't really run out and yell at the sky, people.) 

Many of my posts are a little askew.  Nothing to change the story at hand or the meaning behind it, but not everything I say is factual.  Does this make my blog a con and I should repay you all for wasting your time reading it? Do you feel duped?  Are you going to tell Queen Oprah on me?

I ask you : how important is truth? 

Since my recent post about writing, I've been getting my ass in gear on doing the whole freelance thing. Now, keep in mind, I've never done anything before - never written one query letter, never submitted anything to a magazine, etc.  Minus small local stuff and contests entries, I'm a total newb in the writing world. Not even an attempt at anything otherwise.  With all the recent bloggers talking about going full-time freelance, it's put a fire under my butt to get a move-on.

So yesterday, I started typing for reals. I'd done my research and written my killer cover letter, etc. And, after a few of hours, I ended up writing two very different articles for two magazines that couldn't be more opposite. I was actually proud of both of them.

It just so happened that both magazines accepted submissions and completed work via email, so after patting myself on the back and doing a little Chase-horn-tooting, off they went at about 1:30am.  I went to bed all snuggly and smiling, knowing I'd just submitted my first magazine articles - something I'd been fighting myself to do for, literally, years. 

I woke up this morning and checked my email, finding a "thank you for your submission to [Magazine]! You will hear from us in 4-12 weeks."  Yay!  Something to look forward to!  I did a little dance and continued.  Another email from the other magazine - woot!  I opened it to find my very first rejection letter. 

Assuming the offices at [Other Magazine] opened at 9am, the editor checked in to work, got herself a cup of coffee, chatted about her drunken weekend, went through her emails, read my submission, and wrote a rejection letter....all in 51 minutes!  Seriously - is that a world record or something?? 

I'm thrilled with the letter, though, rejection or not.  She said she really liked the article and that it was "very well-written", but she had recently accepted another article too similar.  D'OH!  Oh well, that, to me, said "you freaking rock, chica, send me more of yo shit!"

I don't even care at this point - I'm just thrilled I'm submitting stuff and that I got a good rejection (the way I understand it, that doesn't happen too often).  I even printed it off and hung it in my workspace.

Really, though, fifty-one minutes after clocking in?  IMPRESSIVE, Ms. Editor Lady!

I'm ready to change up Taste the World's look.  I've loved this design, but am getting a little tired of it. Time for something new!!  The lovely lady who designed this one (Chelle) just had twins, like, literally a few days ago, so I'm thinking I won't bother her with "make me a new site, dirty biotch!!!!", so I'm bothering you guys instead. 

Anyone know a designer who makes Movable Type designs?  I've found a few great designers, but haven't seen any who deal with MT.   Things I want for the new design:

• cleaner lines : it's spring...I need something open and airy
• not left justified : it didn't bother me at first, but now it drives me a little batty
• I want the comments pending page to look normal. that confuses a lot of folks
• and the search results page, too
• keeping the three-colum layout, but wanting more space in the center column
• more banner room - it's starting to look squishy
• easy navigation (this one doesn't bother me)
• not too expensive!

So yeah. That's your job, readers.  Find me a designer.  Kthxbye!

-------------------------------------------------

Don't forget about my lovely renter!!

This is my 100th post on tastetheworld.org! 

I'm very proud of myself. And I'm constantly thrilled and shocked by the response I get here.

I've always had an "oh shit, someone is reading my writing" fear.  I've written for as long as I can remember, and won awards even in elementary school for it, but as I was growing up, my parents constantly told me that I was horrible at it and I should stop trying. 

Regardless, my writing continued - but my trepidation kept it hidden.

Overheard at dinner tonight

Guy to his friends : You know, I finally got a decent job - a job where I have a little bit of extra money in my pocket. I join a gym and start working out. I get to where I'm looking pretty good, you know?  Then I go and blow it by getting married.

Renter

The Write Stuff has a post up right now about writer's block and how to find inspiration. Check it out!

I've been tagged!

Dawn over at WriteWingBlog tagged me today.  So here it is - and my tags are at the end. Muuhaha!

Rules : 1) Write a few weird/strange/quirky things about yourself and post it in both my comments here and on your blog (if you do memes).  2) Leave a comment on their blog telling them they've been tagged.

My weird/strange/quirky things:

1. I'm terrified of balloons.

2. I have brown eyes, but when I'm REALLY angry, they turn green.

3. I'm addicted to buying books, even though I could never read as many as I buy.

4. I steal pens from anywhere I can get ahold of them (stole one at dinner tonight!).

5. If I make a list and have to mark something out, I have to make the whole list again. The same if it gets wrinkled, dirty, or if someone else writes on it.

6. I am 100% positive I'll be at least semi-famous one day.

TAGGED : Erin Belinda Kevin and Jen

I'm a bag taggee

Chili over at Don't Try This At Home tagged me, like, literally weeks ago with a cool thing.  And I never got around to putting up the thing. Chili - I'M SO SORRY!!  I'm a horrid friend.  You'll never meet me and have a Panera bread bowl with me now, huh??  *wimper*

Here is the entire explanation.  It's called The Indie Virus. It's more of a social experiment in blogging interaction than it is a meme. The point is to both spread the word on lesser-known blogs and to see how far this thing can spread.

The rules are simple. Tag one (or a hundred) smaller blogs (those not in technorati's top 100), making sure to use "The Indie Virus" as the anchor tag. Reason? Because it can be tracked by the creator easier that way. For example, I'm going to give my girl, Deb, the virus because she'll be hanging out with me in California and I might as well give her my diseases now so she gets used to them.

Deb's blog, This Is Not The Life I Pictured, is hilarious. I rarely visit her site without having to comment a hearty "LOL". Of course, she hasn't been around much lately, maybe she has tired of me already.  I'll show her.  That's why I'm giving her The Indie Virus!!! Don't mess with me. I'm infectious.

Some of my favorite blog posts lately are those that tell the strange google search results that landed people on bloggers' sites.  I know a few people who have been doing this lately, so I'm jumping on that dorky bandwagon and giving you some of my best google searches. This one is for those people who found me by accident.  You're welcome.

To the "human poop eater" searcher, umm.  I don't know which is scarier, the fact you're searching for this or the fact that my site comes up and looks pertinent enough to click.

I apologize to you, "spring break boobs" searcher because I know you didn't find what you were looking for. The only boob around here is Chanakin.

There have been several hits from people looking for "women who are bitches," "crazy bitches," or "women who are psycho."  Are you people looking for a cure or a date??  Neither of those things can be found here.  Sorry!  (Shut up. All of you. Or I'll stab you.)

Yesterday, someone came here by looking for "fat turds."  Is it wrong that I really want to know what exactly they were expecting to find??  I feel dirty.

A parent's nightmare to search something innocent and end up at my blog - someone searched for my site with "my daughters going camping with boyfriend."  That would be all good, but it landed them at this post, where I talk about losing my virginity while going camping with a boy.  Oops.  Sorry mom. 

"What if the whole world farted at once?"  Yes.  What, indeed?  Perhaps we should organize this? Let me know what date you decide on...I'll eat lots of dairy. 

And, my favorite so far, searched word for word, "what do you think frogs are thinking when they are poked in the butt by curious people?"  I don't even know what to say with that one.  Just...breathe it in, people. Cherish it. 

As a final reminder, everyday this week I will have a guest blogger.  This person is from our history books - and you get to tell me who it is.  There are almost 40 bloggers participating : their links are all to your right under "Lost Bloggers".  You should go check out more blogs and play; I imagine there will be some quite interesting twists to the game.  If nothing else, you'll get to see other blogs you may not have ever seen otherwise.

I initially said I wasn't going to give prizes, but I think I will.  It'll be more fun that way!  Plus, anyone who suffers through reading my blog certainly deserves something of value, don't ya think? 

I will have comments disabled on the histoblogger's posts so there won't be spoilers.  When you think you know who it is, send me an email (link under my picture) with your guess.  The first 3 correct guesses will receive prizes.  What exactly those will be I have no idea yet.  But they won't suck, mmkay?

This little ditty was originally brought to you by Kevin.  We are doing a grassroots campaign to support Pauly D and his new book, The Lost Blogs : From Jesus to Jim Morrison.   (The book can be pre-ordered here)

I may be blogging myself this week, too, but you'll be able to tell the difference between posts. I will have comments OPEN on my posts, but please don't guess the histoblogger there. 

I think that's all.  See you all tomorrow.  Please be nice to my guest this week.  She's come a long way.

A couple of reminders. First of all, don't forget to check out my renter, Henry the Adequate. Funny guy - check out his samples area!

Also, a deadline that's fast-approaching : the grassroots blogger book marketing campaign. (See the banner under my bio to the left.) If you're creative at all, or if you want to pretend to be because you desperately crave the attention (like me), I ask that you give this assignment a look. The list of participants is now up to 30!  I imagine the results will be amazing.

A recap : between April 10 & April 14, the listed bloggers will be posting on their blogs as the historical figure of their choice (with a few rules tossed in there). To see further explanation, purpose, rules, and the list of participants thus far, check out Kevin's site (Kevin being the superman mastermind behind this whole thing). I would love to see my readers in on this one too! (Chanakin, I'm looking at you, pal.)

Lastly, I was wondering if any of you had ever participated in blog carnivals. I have been doing the monthly blog exchange put on by Kristen and now the grassroots campaign (both of which thrill and terrify me), so I figured the next progression would be carnivals.  However, beyond a very basic idea, I don't know anything about them.  So I ask you...have any of you ever participated in any? Ideas/thoughts/experiences? Good sites to find good carnivals? Have you hosted any?

I got my ass smacked today. Thrice!

I submitted my site to IT2M about 2 weeks ago and today, after seeing about 40 extra visits on my site meter, realized that my site had been reviewed.  I gritted my teeth, held my breath, and got ready to read a horrid review, complete with the words "fuck" and "moron"...or, at the very least, "twit".

When I got there, instead of "ooooh shit" I was more like "oooh....uhh."  The bitches are usually brutal. I've seen some reviews that could make Jesus weep. Charred reviewed Taste the World and it was kind of...uneventful. No cursing. No name calling (though the pixellated demon-spawn thing was kinda cool). Not even a mention of the Google ads, which I just KNEW would get me punched in the ovaries. Alas.

I got three smacks...that works for me. I take what smackin' I can get, thankyouverymuch.

I'm in a random mood so you're getting a heap of random junk.  I think there might be a very thin thread of common theme in there somewhere...but let's not get our hopes up, ok?

First of all, you people need to freaking STOP with the interesting and funny blog-writing. I added another five blogs to my bloglines within the last 2 days. Enough already! That makes 52 blogs I suscribe to and I have another 6 in my favorites folder that don't have feeds.  Fifty-eight.  Fifty-eight of you clowns (sorry Dave2) making me late for work. A girl's gotta eat, ya know.

Another thing, also mentioned here by Kristen. Are any of you guys going to Blogher '06? I really considered going to SXSW this month, but decided against it because, more than anything, I was scared to go.  I would have been going by myself to meet a bunch of bloggers that had never heard of and who couldn't care less about Taste the World or me. Blogher will be even more intimidating, I think, because it's a bunch of nearly superhuman blogger women who know everything and everyone.  And before you say it, I don't really know why I want to go either, other than I know it'll be a killer experience (and you know how I'm all about that).  I'm not a big player. I don't make a living off of Gooogle ads (unless $3 a month is 'a living'). And though it'd be the most kickass thing in the universe to make a living off blogging, I just don't think I have the material to do all that. I'm not a mommy, I don't do anything interesting or profound, and I'm not all that funny (though I do get laughed at quite a bit). 

Holy shit, that was a long tangent. Back to the original question - anyone else going to Blogher?  Kristen is, I hear. Maybe she'll speak to me and I can get her to autograph my boobs or something.

Before I forget, and since I've flooded this post with links anyway, if you haven't checked out Pupsickle, please do so.  If you have and it was old material, it was Blogger's fault...she is up and running again.  Go say hi.  Tell her Chase sent you.   

That's all I'll torture you with today. I promise I'll attempt less bullshit better content with my next post. 

In the last 48 hours, I've deleted about 928,374,298,342,350 spam comments.  Give or take a couple.  So, unfortunately, I'll be moderating comments from now on.  Bastards.  If you're going to spam, do so with something cool - like sock monkeys.

Secondly, don't forget to check out my twin-carrying ho, Chelle.  She just gets bigger everyday (she just posted a new picture to prove it!).  She also is a self-proclaimed lover of being plugged.  So, I'm plugging her.  Heh. Heh.

I consider myself a fairly good writer, though the array of crap you've seen here lately surely doesn't attest to this statement. When the words are there, writing is the most enjoyable and empowering part of my life.  Unfortunately, the more I sit around on my ass procrastinating on my brilliant book idea, the more those words tell me to give up and just watch my Friends DVDs (which I do a lot more than I care to admit).

Sometimes I need a little creative nudge - something that speaks to my core.  I found something today that might just be one of those things.  The positive potential is twofold: promote a book that's brilliantly done and allow myself to do some writing with thought behind it (something my mind has been begging me for).

The marketing campaign is explained here.  The book is for pre-sale here.  The author's awsome blog is here.  I found out about this contest from her.  And, to show you what kind of brilliant minds will be participating in the campaign, look who else is doing it.  I will link to all the participants when the time comes.

The short and sweet of it is that, between April 10 and April 14, I will be blogging as a historical figure.  I won't be telling you who it is - you will have to wait and see.  Don't get confuzzled, it won't be me blogging about this person, it will be me blogging as this person.  Now, if this will be any good, I have no idea...I'm leaning toward "eh, prolly not" but we'll just have to see.  Prepare for an onslaught of crap, just in case.   And, just to be clear, everyone is calling it a contest because the readers are supposed to guess what figure the writers are.   Well, there's no prize (I'm not shilling out any mulah for you damn freaks lovely people  ), so I'm not calling it a contest.  Though you can still guess all you want. 

Please feel free to join in the fun on your blog.  I'd love to read your responses!

A couple more things?  A new web design is coming very soon, thanks to her.  And don't forget to read my renter who is she/her/it. 

Technorati tags : writing, blogging, history, literature, books

Yeh, the three-column thing isn't very pretty right now.  I'm hopefully gonna have a new design shortly, so you'll just have to deal with the skinny middle column for now.

In honor of all things skinny:  organic meals

Yeaaah baby. 

Because all the blogs are doin' it these days.  How are you defined in the dictionary? 

Mine is pretty fitting, seeing as how I just posted about this.  Hmph.

What is YOUR definition?

This is it - my first blog at my new home.  I feel like I need to decorate!  (Though last time I tried that, I screwed up my index file - I think I'll wait until I learn how. Heh.)

So, my babies, welcome to TasteTheWorld.org.   This is your new home, too - bookmark it and come back everyday.  No smoking inside.  Keep your feet off the furniture.  And please, someone do my dishes for me...they're starting to pile up.

Welcome. 

Ok. Not so much a mommy. But I would love to be a "mommy blogger" right now. Those ladies are totally raking it in (if not the money, the praise and promotion)! They're quick, intelligent, witty, business-savvy mothers who are all the rage in the blogosphere right now. They have smart blogs with a dedicated readership and growing sponsorship. Very cool deal for them. Not saying they got it easily - most of them have been doing it for awhile. And they certainly have the writing talent to deserve it.

I won't go into the whole list here, but I'll share a few of my favorites - a handful of blogs I read everyday.

Dooce
Finslippy
Fussy
City Mama
Mandajuice
Suburban Bliss
Mighty Girl
Three Kid Circus

And there are many more!

I'm not a mother and have no desire to be. I don't like hearing about diapers and bottles and teething. I try not to be in the room when a screaming child is near. And these ladies still crack me up daily with their tales - I never tire of it! They ain't your regular "moms". Don't click on these links because you're into 'mom' writing because that's not what it's about. Click on these links because you're into brilliant writing.

Maybe I should be in the "good-looking 30-something and unmarried with no rugrats" blog ring. We're out here, too!! We are a demographic! People want to hear us, too, advertisers!!

Then again, I'd sell my child for a free trip to Amsterdam. Suppose it's a good thing I don't have any. Dammit.

originally at Blogspot

I've always been fascinated by words. I find it amazing that a sound coming out of someone's mouth can cause others around him/her to feel a certain way or recall certain memories.

For instance, what happens to you when you see me type the word: tsunami? Did you feel a twinge of sadness in your gut? (If you didn't, you watch too many shows with the words "World's Most..." in the titles)

What about the words: baby got back? Did you smile? Hell yeah, you did! I think my booty even twitched a little when I typed it.


Ok. What about the word: cock? Did you blush? You should have, you pervert...that was sick.


I ask this because this is why I love language - the image and feeling and depth that these little things make us go through...just amazing. If you said "cock" in a crowded place, a dinner party perhaps, how many people do you think would look at you and gasp? Probably most of them. And all you did was breathe out a puff of air with the back of your tongue at roof of your mouth.

(You're saying it out loud, aren't you? Pervert! See, I know my readers.)


Now, listen - this doesn't give you license to go to a dinner party and loudly say that word to see who gasps. I was just making conversation. That's what I do.

(but if you happen to try this at a dinner party, please let me know what names you get called - that should be quite interesting.)

originally posted on Blogspot